Monday, 25 November 2013

Is Spilt Milk Worth Crying Over?

Ok! this is where I pause and rewind if it was a movie, Damn! In real life? this can't be happening.
I bet you were as shocked as I am, cos I didn't see this coming.
If you were Lola, what would be your reaction to this mind blowing question.
And if you were Jake, I reserve my comments. 
Did you have to go FOUR free rounds before saying "Its Over?"


Seriously! If I were Lola I will pause, think, smile and walk away.... You try well well. Hmmmmmmm! I will roar like a lion in pain, NO! I'll rattle like a snake whose tail has been crushed, in fact I'll think like the lady I am but act like a man, and you know what men do (Ginger and scatter), by the time we are done, Jake's once cozy apartment will turn into a disorganized battlefield.

Just kidding O!, I won't say what I would have done if in Lola's shoes...but I know for sure i won't ever forget that night + that guy in a hurry.
Please read previous post "A Night To Remember" for better understanding.

For every event or mishap that happens to any one there is a reason, rather than dwell in the pain it brings, its better to learn from it and channel that knowledge to the brain library for future reference.... "AJ".

Lola would sure be extremely hurt for loosing out on a five year relationship.
Now the question..."is spilt milk worth crying over?", maybe yes, maybe no, depending on who spilled the milk.
Moving on is like contemplating whether to drink soured milk or to throw it away.
Some people would rather microwave a soured milk to make it edible than throw it away.
When a relationship fails, the guy moves on with ease after a few days of heartbreak and mourning, some hard guys feel nothing and even throw a "send off" party with there co-monsters, and in a matter of days the girl in question will be history.

But for us ladies, we are more emotional and sensitive to matters of the heart, our delicate nature makes it harder, and longer for us to move on and re-adjust to a boyfriendless life.
For someone like Lola, she won't believe her ears at first, when she finally comes out of the dis-believing shock, she'll sure cry her life out, for days she'll swim in endless tears flowing like spring water gushing out of Mount Everest.
She'll cry for weeks over her loss and time wasted, she'll reminisce over the good times and bad times shared, she'll try to find out if she did anything wrong in the relationship, she'll feel used and rejected.
Not to worry my dear likes of Lola "a broken relationship they say is better than a broken marriage".

An average adult would experience at least 3 major heartbreaks before s/he finds a secure heart keeper.
This doesn't mean your life should be on hold anytime you're rejected, you have to brace up and keep moving on.

Positive Habits to Help Move on After a Heartbreak.

* Face it! its over, s/he is not coming back.

* Don't try to move on immediately, take some time out to cry and reminisce, crying helps relieve the pain.

* Avoid feeling sorry for yourself too long. You can't let this little mishap get you down that badly, because it's bound to happen again in your life, and you have to make sure you will accept it better next time. Instead of saying "My life sucks because....", try saying "My life is great because..."

* Confide in a mature and reliable friend.

* Don't use food, alcohol, drug or random sex to ease your pain: they are killer addictives.

*Don't stay idle, Indulge in positive activities to get your mind off misery, have fun Learning something new.

*Delete, delete, delete... all traces of your ex: photos, gifts, text messages, emails, delete him/her off your social networks. You don't need followership on his/her life after you were rejected.

* Make music your companion, music will help you relate to your problems and will help you get over them, it soothes the mind, it has been proven.

* Write all your feelings down, in a poem, song, journal, etc. The more you write, the less you grieve, Patterns become clearer, and you will find it so much easier to get valuable life lessons from the whole experience, at least the learning part will enrich your life.

* Love your self, it makes you feel better, Count your blessings and you'll be amazed how great a life you've got.

* Time to exercise, weight train, go to the spa, beautify yourself, because the loser was the one who lost YOU, not the other way around. YOU'RE the prize.

* Keep your dignity. Many times a breakup leaves you rejected, deceived, and used, We doubt our self worth and adequacy, it sometimes really undermines your self-confidence and shake your self-esteem to the core. Help rebuild your inner stability by impressing yourself with accomplishment.

* The phrase "Let's just be friends" usually never works out between ex, because there will always remain this awkwardness as long as you're friends. Plus it will even be harder for you to move on. However, if you've been friends with this person before the relationship, and you both are fine with still being friends, then, be friends! Usually the best advice is to not be friends, because it will be an awkward friendship.

*Meet someone new, who knows they might be the one you've been needing all along.

You see moving on after a break up is not so hard after all.
Take heart Lola, and you Jake....happy married life.

1 comment:

  1. I will not be able to think for a moment. The shock of the experience will be momentous.

    ReplyDelete